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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25413469">ruined my life, by not being mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/akasuga/pseuds/akasuga'>akasuga</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(or my attempt at it), Humor, M/M, haikyuu 402 spoilers, is this really the first fic in the atsuiwa tag omg, sakusa and atsumu are best friends in this even if sakusa won't admit it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:14:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25413469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/akasuga/pseuds/akasuga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It seems that everyone on Japan's National Men's Volleyball Team knows who this new athletic trainer is - everyone except Atsumu, apparently. And he just can't have that.</p><p>Or, Miya Atsumu has a fat crush on athletic trainer Iwaizumi Hajime and he has to do something about that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime &amp; Miya Atsumu, Iwaizumi Hajime/Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu &amp; Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu/Iwaizumi Hajime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>One shots</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ruined my life, by not being mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wow this is my first fic in almost four years and my first fic ever for haikyuu! and of all pairings it's atsuiwa LOL kind of wild. this was definitely one of those fics that kind of just wrote itself, which is such a rare treat for me. i apologize in advance if the characters seem out-of-character in some parts — i'm still trying to get the hang of writing them. also took some liberties with the settings and scenarios since i'm not quite sure how often athletes and ATs do in fact interact with each other HAHA</p><p>special thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavendori/pseuds/lavendori">lavendori</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinNovelist/pseuds/ErinNovelist">ErinNovelist</a>, and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyxa/pseuds/Reyxa">Reyxa</a> for being my soundboard, characterization cross-checkers, and cheerleaders. love you all&lt;3</p><p>title is from gorgeous by taylor swift</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s nothing new about practicing for the Olympics. The same size of the court, same smell, same motions. Atsumu’s used to this by now — it isn’t anything different from any of the hundreds of games he’s played since he went pro.</p><p>What <em> is </em> different are the people.</p><p>They’re taking a break from serving drills when something — or rather, some<em>one — </em>catches his eye. </p><p>“Omi-kun, who’s that?”</p><p>Sakusa turns to look at where Atsumu is gesturing. Across the gym, the head athletic trainer is conversing with someone they’ve never seen during training before.</p><p>“Probably the new athletic trainer, Iwaizumi-san,” Sakusa replies.</p><p>“<em>That’s </em> the new athletic trainer? <em> Him? </em>”</p><p>Sakusa eyes his teammate wearily. “Yeah, why?”</p><p>“Nothin’, nothin’,” Atsumu replies breezily. <em> Just the most beautiful athletic trainer I’ve ever seen </em> . But he’ll never say that out loud, especially not to <em> Sakusa </em> of all people.</p><p>He continues to stare at the new athletic trainer, Iwaizumi, who makes his way towards the huddle of other medical personnel.</p><p>Suddenly, Hinata stands up from the bench, waving his arms excitedly. “Iwaizumi-san!”</p><p>Atsumu recoils, his face twisting into disgusted surprise. “Shouyou <em> knows </em> him?”</p><p>“We played against him in high school.”</p><p>Atsumu jumps in surprise at the new voice, whipping around to glare at Kageyama. “Tobio-kun, can ya warn someone before ya sneak up on ‘em like that?”</p><p>“Sorry,” Kageyama apologizes, then continues as if he didn’t just give Atsumu a heart attack. “Iwaizumi-san was the ace at Seijoh in high school. With Oikawa-san.”</p><p>Atsumu frowns. “Oikawa. The Argentinian player?”</p><p>Kageyama nods. “They were my senpai in middle school.”</p><p>Atsumu gapes at Kageyama in disbelief as the latter walks away ….towards Iwaizumi. Who is talking to both Hinata and Ushijima.</p><p>
  <em> Wait.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ushijima?! </em>
</p><p>Atsumu plops down on the bench, feeling like his soul has left his body. “Omi-kun, why does everybody on this team know this man but me?”</p><p>He doesn’t catch Sakusa rolling his eyes.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Training continues as the Olympics loom near. Once they’ve gotten used to playing on the same team, it’s easy to fall into the rhythm of drills and practice games.</p><p>And if Atsumu goes out of his way to show off on days where Iwaizumi is watching, that’s nobody’s business but his.</p><p>“You’re being more obvious than usual.”</p><p>Atsumu cocks his head at Sakusa. “What?”</p><p>“You’re more obnoxious when Iwaizumi-san’s around.”</p><p>“Excuse me?!”</p><p>Hinata leans into their conversation. “I didn’t want to say anything, but I’ve noticed it too. It’s like you try a lot harder when Iwaizumi-san is watching.”</p><p>Atsumu sputters. “Don’t be ridiculous! I’m at my best 24/7.”</p><p>Hinata hums thoughtfully, shaking his head. “It’s hard to explain but you just act <em> different </em>. Right, Sakusa-san?”</p><p>Sakusa nods.</p><p>“Atsumu-san… are you… interested in Iwaizumi-san?” Hinata asks, blinking at him curiously.</p><p>Atsumu feels a blush crawl up his neck and he absolutely <em> hates </em> it. “No! Stop saying stupid things. Of course I’m not interested.”</p><p>“Hey, hey, hey!” Atsumu feels a heavy arm sling around his shoulders. “What are my favorite teammates talking about?”</p><p><em> Kami-sama, take me now </em>. Atsumu channels all of his energy into the piercing glare he sends to Hinata, daring him to continue. The younger player visibly gulps and immediately changes the subject with Bokuto.</p><p>Good. If Bokuto knew of this, then the whole team would know by the end of the day. And Atsumu would rather die.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Practice that day ends without much fanfare (thank goodness). As they pack up their things, Atsumu notices Iwaizumi sorting through a medical kit by the bench. For a moment, he’s mesmerized by Iwaizumi methodically picking up and putting things into the kit, his arms ever so slightly flexing when he brings an item up to inspect it. How does someone look <em> that good </em> while packing <em> medical supplies?</em></p><p>“You know, I can introduce you to him.”</p><p>Atsumu flinches and glares at Hinata. “Ya did enough today.”</p><p>Hinata shrugs. “Suit yourself.”</p><p>As much as he hates to admit it, he spends the rest of the night contemplating Hinata’s offer. In the week since Iwaizumi showed up, he hasn’t had a single conversation with him.</p><p>It’s not like he’s scared. Miya Atsumu does not get <em>scared </em>. He’s someone who knows what he wants and goes after it. He doesn’t do stupid things like pine after good-looking athletic trainers he’s never spoken to before.</p><p>He is <em>not </em> pining. Which is why he doesn’t need Hinata to help him. If Atsumu wants to talk to Iwaizumi, he’ll do it himself, thank you very much. </p><p>“I’m not pining,” Atsumu grumbles as he shifts in his bed, rolling onto his other side before falling asleep.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>So maybe he’s pining a little. But it’s not his fault that talking to Iwaizumi has been virtually impossible. The only time they’re in the same space is during practices, after all. When Atsumu’s not practicing, Iwaizumi is busy talking to the other trainers. There’s really no opening for a conversation.</p><p>So he continues to stare from a distance.</p><p>
  <em> Ugh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Coward. </em>
</p><p>When practice wraps up for the day, Atsumu is surprised to see Iwaizumi helping to put the balls away. The other players are milling about, chatting while cleaning up, Iwaizumi in the middle of it all. Alone.</p><p><em> Finally</em>, Atsumu thinks, as he approaches the trainer. This is his chance.</p><p>“So, yer the new athletic trainer, Iwaizumi-san,” Atsumu states, as a means of greeting. Okay, good start, super casual. He’s had worse introductions.</p><p>Iwaizumi raises his eyebrows. “And you’re the back-up setter, Miya-san.”</p><p>Atsumu scowls at the word <em> back-up</em>. “Unfortunately.”</p><p>“Hey, your sets are pretty great, if it makes you feel any better,” Iwaizumi grins. “Makes me wish I was on the court to hit one of those.”</p><p>“Wanna hit one now?” Atsumu blurts out.</p><p>Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck<em>fuck </em>. That’s not what he wanted to say. As Iwaizumi stares at him in surprise, Atsumu suddenly feels like crawling into a hole and never coming back out. What was he thinking? He doesn’t even know if Iwaizumi still plays volleyball. The guy’s dressed in a polo and slacks for fuck’s sake.</p><p>Then Iwaizumi smirks. “Sure.”</p><p>And it’s Atsumu’s turn to blink in surprise. Oh. Well, okay.</p><p>He somehow manages to convince Hinata and Sakusa to help (the former, gladly, the latter, begrudgingly). As he gets into position, Atsumu feels his heart pounding, more excited than he’d like to admit to see Iwaizumi spike his toss.</p><p>“Just so you know, I’m out of practice,” Iwaizumi warns him.</p><p>Atsumu grins. “Don’t worry, my hitters always get the ball.”</p><p>Hinata bumps a ball for Atsumu to set and as he tosses the ball, he watches Iwaizumi jump up to spike it.</p><p>For someone who’s out of practice, his form is still amazing. A muscled arm pulled back, his body arched for the momentum of the hit. Just for a moment, it’s as if he’s suspended in midair. Atsumu doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until he lets it out in an impressed whistle. There’s no better feeling than tossing the ball into the perfect position for his hitter to spike. And that was one powerful spike.</p><p>Iwaizumi flashes an elated grin and Atsumu knows the feeling. The kind of exhilaration that comes from hitting the ball exactly how you wanted to. For the second time in the span of a few minutes, Atsumu feels breathless.</p><p>He smirks. “Not bad for an athletic trainer.”</p><p>“Not bad for a back-up setter,” Iwaizumi fires back, laughing. </p><p><em> Fuck. </em> His heart leaps at the sound of Iwaizumi’s laugh. <em> I think I’m in love.</em></p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After he gets over that initial hurdle, talking to Iwaizumi really isn’t so hard. He’s even started calling him Iwa-san.</p><p>(The first time he tried it, Iwaizumi had an almost haunted look in his eyes, like he was remembering something terrible. But he doesn’t object to it, so Atsumu takes that as an okay.)</p><p>Sometimes during their breaks, he’ll meander over to Iwaizumi’s area to ask him questions about his health.</p><p>“Hey, Iwa-san. I have a question.”</p><p>“What is it, Miya-san?” Iwaizumi doesn’t even bother looking at him as he writes on his clipboard.</p><p>“I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout trying this new move. Well, it’s not really new but I’ve only tried it once. But I wanna make sure it's, ya know, safe.”</p><p>Iwaizumi sets down his pen and sighs, finally looking at Atsumu. “What’s the move?”</p><p>Atsumu gets on the floor to demonstrate. “Okay, what if I try setting the ball while crouched on the ground but I’m extending my arms behind me for the toss?”</p><p>Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. “You’re planning to do that every time?”</p><p>“Not <em> every </em> time. But imagine how cool I’d look if that was like my signature move.” Atsumu grins.</p><p>“You know, Miya-san, you kind of remind me of Oikawa,” Iwaizumi says.</p><p>Atsumu proudly puffs his chest out. “Really? Why? Is it ‘cause I’m an awesome setter?”</p><p>“No, it’s because you’re an idiot.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>(“Omi-kun, he called me an idiot.”</p><p>“...That’s a good thing?”</p><p>“He was smilin’ when he said it.”</p><p>“What the hell is wrong with you?”)</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A few days before the Olympics, the team, personnel, and staff are treated to lunch as celebration. It’s the first time they’re all gathered for something outside of practices and the atmosphere is significantly less tense than what Atsumu is used to.</p><p>Right now, he’s somehow in a conversation with Ushijima and Yaku of all people, and he’s just trying to <em> get out </em>. He’s not exactly close to Ushijima but that guy is harmless and actually pretty funny sometimes. Yaku, on the other hand, still scares the shit out of Atsumu, and he’d rather not get his ass kicked on his day off.</p><p>As he scans the room, Atsumu meets Iwaizumi’s eyes. Iwaizumi raises his beverage in acknowledgement and Atsumu takes that as his excuse to leave the current conversation.</p><p>“Umm, hey, Iwaizumi-san is callin’ me over so I’ll talk to ya later,” Atsumu says in a rush, not even bothering to hear the others’ responses as he bolts across the room.</p><p>Atsumu expels a breath when he reaches Iwaizumi’s side. “Thank you.”</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“Gettin’ me outta that conversation.”</p><p>Iwaizumi snorts. “Ushijima’s not that bad.”</p><p>“It’s not him I’m worried about.” Atsumu narrows his eyes.</p><p>“Wait, Yaku-san?!” Iwaizumi bursts out laughing.</p><p>“Hey! It’s not funny! That man is 169cm of pure <em> evil. </em>”</p><p>Iwaizumi is still laughing, wiping tears from the corner of his eye. Atsumu huffs and sips from his glass while Iwaizumi calms down.</p><p>“Who knew the great Miya Atsumu would be afraid of someone like Yaku-san,” Iwaizumi remarks once he’s composed himself.</p><p>Atsumu rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, ya won't be laughin' once ya face his wrath.”</p><p>“Something tells me, it’s just you, Miya-san.”</p><p>Iwaizumi smiles at him and Atsumu has to bring a hand to his face to cover his blush, faking a cough.</p><p>Thankfully, Iwaizumi continues, “So are you ready for the games?”</p><p>Atsumu clears his throat and grins confidently. “Of course. I’ve <em> been </em> ready.”</p><p>“Of course,” Iwaizumi echoes, rolling his eyes. But he’s smiling.</p><p>There it is again. That stupid, beautiful smile. <em> Fuck it. </em>“Hey, Iwa-san. Wanna make a bet?”</p><p>“Am I gonna regret it?”</p><p>“I hope not.”</p><p>“Then what is it?”</p><p>His heart is pounding so hard, he swears Iwaizumi can hear it. The constant <em> thump thump thump </em> against his ribcage like a rhythm for the mantra in his head. <em> Do it do it do it. </em>Atsumu takes a breath.</p><p>“If we win against Argentina, I’ll take you out for dinner.”</p><p>The beat of silence that follows is the longest stretch of time Atsumu has ever experienced. But when a slow smile creeps across Iwaizumi’s face, he feels his hope begin to swell.</p><p>“And if you lose?” Iwaizumi asks.</p><p>Atsumu smirks. “Then you take <em> me </em> out.”</p><p>He can feel his heartbeat in his <em> ears </em> by now. Was that too bold? Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Maybe he should’ve just stuck with the first thing. Maybe—</p><p>Iwaizumi sticks his hand out, grinning. “Okay, deal.”</p><p>Atsumu is a bit shocked that that <em> worked</em>, but then he’s smiling wide enough for his cheeks to hurt and he really doesn’t care about anything now besides the fact that Iwaizumi <em> agreed</em>. His hand moves on its own to shake Iwaizumi’s hand. <em>It's warm,</em> he thinks.</p><p>“Deal.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yaku definitely overheard atsumu and beat his ass later that day</p><p>p.s. the haunted look iwa had after hearing "iwa-san" was bc he had flashbacks to oikawa calling him iwa-chan and the resemblance was uncanny</p><p>anyway hope you all enjoyed some lighthearted atsuiwa! come scream about hq or life with me on <a href="https://twitter.com/babysettersclub">twitter</a>!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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